There are points in my life when I think I have stuff down. You know...when you feel you have been there and down that and know what to expect. But life always seems to be able to throw a wrench in the works and sometimes it comes way out of left field when you are least expecting it. Take this weekend for example. We went down to the animal shelter to pick up a dog and her 4 newborn puppies. This is probably around the 60th animal we have fostered and after the last mom and her pups I felt like I knew exactly what to expect. Everyone got settled in Saturday night and we sat and admired these tiny little puppies and marveled at just how perfect they were.
And sometime after that it all started to go south. I heard Momma dog crying during the night so I got up to take her outside. In the pitch blackness I stumbled out of my bedroom and walked straight into the door and split my eyebrow open. My language must have been quite vivid as Matt rushed to turn on the light and saw me standing there with blood pouring down my face. So off we went together to get the dog situated. And as Matt took her outside I realized that there were only 3 little puppies wiggling around in her bed. The 4th one was completely still. I picked her up and knew she was gone. She was so tiny she easily fit in the palm of my hand. She was cold and still. She looked just like she was sleeping. I tried to resuscitate her but to know avail. I do to pretend to understand it but it makes me sad to think that a tiny little light was dimmed so quickly.
After many tears the next morning we buried the little body out in our garden in the pouring rain. And we thought we were done but no. A few hours later the second little one died...and then at 2:00am last night the third. And now there is only one left.
She's tough this last little one. She's not going to go out without a fight. So in the midst of all the sadness and despair I see this one tiny little bundle fighting for every minute she gets to be here.